In our blog we will try to provide you with general information regarding family law, as well as updates in important cases and statutes dealing with family law in New Hampshire. This is not to be construed as legal advice. Every case is unique and small facts can make a difference.
5 Mistakes You Should Avoid While Going Through a Divorce
No two New Hampshire divorces are quite alike. Each involves its own set of unique circumstances; however, despite this fact, there is a right way and a wrong way to go about a divorce. There are a number of recommendations and rules you should follow in order to ensure that the process goes as smoothly as possible.
Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for many couples, whether on purpose or unconsciously, to commit common mistakes that can ultimately have a detrimental effect on them.
If you plan to separate from or file for a divorce from your spouse, here are 5 common mistakes you should strive to avoid:
1. Do not let your emotions take over. Any divorce is an emotionally charged affair. The feelings a person feels can run the gamut from anger to grief to relief. However, in order to reach an amicable agreement with your soon to be former spouse, you must ensure that your emotions do not play a role in negotiations. A mediator or collaborative coach can assist each party in expressing their needs in a healthy manner and ensure that the other spouse’s concerns are heard too.
2. Your children should be your first priority. Divorces and separations are complicated matters, and it becomes more complex when children are involved. In the wake of anger and other emotions, divorcing parents often lose sight of the bigger picture, and it is the children who suffer for it. It will be better for everyone involved, in the long run, if your children’s needs are made your first priority.
3. Do not focus on the past. There is truth in the old adage that one cannot begin to move forward until they have let go of the past. Of course, this is much easier said than done, particularly when a reluctant spouse is involved. When one or both parties involved in a divorce focus only on what has already occurred, it is difficult to consider how their divorce and the subsequent settlement will affect their future, and it is important to ensure that your future is assured. Coaching or counseling can assist you in creating a vision for the future and creating a plan to achieve your goals.
4. Do not refuse to compromise. It is not uncommon for one or both spouses in a divorce to engage in a “my way or the highway” mindset. This mentality will only result in additional frustration and more conflict. In order to reach an agreement that is suitable to both spouses, you must be willing to compromise. This is the only method of reaching a mutually beneficial middle ground, and it becomes critically important to do so when children are involved in the process.
5. Don’t neglect to learn what your various options are before initiating divorce proceedings. This is the most common mistake made by individuals who wish to file for divorce. Many separating or divorcing couples are simply unaware that it is possible to reach a divorce agreement without having to go through the New Hampshire court system. There are actually 5 different options a couple can utilize when it comes to obtaining a divorce in New Hampshire, and if you invest the time required to learn about each one, you can select the option that will be most beneficial to you and your children.
It is tricky to successfully navigate through a legal separation or divorce, but it does not have to become a bona fide disaster. The first step is to secure competent and experienced legal counsel who can ensure that your best interests, and those of your children, are protected through each step of the process. To learn more about your options, please contact one of our New Hampshire divorce lawyers today. Your initial consultation is 100% free, and we look forward to hearing from you.
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